People who seems to be irreplaceable characters have left, slowly being replaced by completely different persons in my life. My story line has experienced many unexpected characters and I have come to terms with the fact that there will be many still to come. While most things become easier the more often you experience them, believe me. I've learned that farewells only seem to be harder over time.
Those never get easier, especially when it comes to saying goodbye to your relationship. Every break-up I've experienced which is good or bad has always been painful. I have always left a piece of myself with that person. After any break up I need time to mourn, not only for the end of the relationship I had with a person I once loved so dearly, but also for the part of myself that would forever be lost. However, I have learned that this love and part of me, would be a necessary step to something much more important growth.
I have always been a person who loves hard and intense. Whenever I would meet a person who was able to spark something in me, I would go it for 100% of loyalty, commitment and dedication, Those things just come naturally to me. I need to fully commit to someone, or not at all. My friends used to joke that there were two types of people and I was by far the latter. Casual flings just did not exist in my universe. I was only interested in real love deal.
Once I took a chance on a person, I went all in, even if I did not know the person well enough to give him my all. Thinking everything would work out between us, even though I still had many layers of differences to discover. You can have the best intentions in the world, but if the other person is not on the same page with you, things will never work out. Sometimes this made me wonder why I found it so easy to commit to a person. Maybe I was more focused on the rush that being in love gave me, than on making the actual relationship work. Or maybe my ex-boyfriends were just not meant for me (yes, indeed). What can I say is for me, love was a powerful and addicting drug which I was so focused, committed and in love with the person, I would forget everything else. Including myself.
Since the love was such a feeling thing for me, the break up were felt extremely well too.
However, as I became older, this changed. I do not know if that is because I changed as a person or if dating and relationships changed in general. I always say that there is a good and bad about dating apps such as Tinder, We Chat era when it comes to guys and relationships. I tend to blame those dating apps for making finding love too easy, and causing pretty much every guy to become a fuck boy. Whatever it is, the guys that I met would only be interested in one thing. Getting in bed wit me and crossing me of that literal to do list. At first I thought that there was something wrong with me. This is the new normal, and that I needed to adapt. No more 100% commitment and loyalty. No more " Good morning baby, I love you" texts, but instead "hey, you wanna come over" at 1 AM. So I tried. I tried to be one of those cool girls that were OK. Guess what? It made me feel miserable and insecure.
Do not lose yourself for love. This is the most important lesson love has ever taught me. This lesson is applicable not only if you are single, but also when you are in a relationship. "Be yourself" seems like on of those cliches you can find on any cheap looking decorative pillow, but I cannot stress enough how important it is to stick to you when dealing with love. As I said, love can be so addicting, and like every addiction, it changes you. Usually not for the better. You want to be 'the cool girl', you want to make 'the relationship work', but sometimes it's better to let go and focus on yourself instead.
Remember dear, if someone makes you feel like the way you are is not good enough, that only means that they are not good enough to be with you. No person worth your love should ever want you to change.
However, as I became older, this changed. I do not know if that is because I changed as a person or if dating and relationships changed in general. I always say that there is a good and bad about dating apps such as Tinder, We Chat era when it comes to guys and relationships. I tend to blame those dating apps for making finding love too easy, and causing pretty much every guy to become a fuck boy. Whatever it is, the guys that I met would only be interested in one thing. Getting in bed wit me and crossing me of that literal to do list. At first I thought that there was something wrong with me. This is the new normal, and that I needed to adapt. No more 100% commitment and loyalty. No more " Good morning baby, I love you" texts, but instead "hey, you wanna come over" at 1 AM. So I tried. I tried to be one of those cool girls that were OK. Guess what? It made me feel miserable and insecure.
Do not lose yourself for love. This is the most important lesson love has ever taught me. This lesson is applicable not only if you are single, but also when you are in a relationship. "Be yourself" seems like on of those cliches you can find on any cheap looking decorative pillow, but I cannot stress enough how important it is to stick to you when dealing with love. As I said, love can be so addicting, and like every addiction, it changes you. Usually not for the better. You want to be 'the cool girl', you want to make 'the relationship work', but sometimes it's better to let go and focus on yourself instead.
Remember dear, if someone makes you feel like the way you are is not good enough, that only means that they are not good enough to be with you. No person worth your love should ever want you to change.
Tiada ulasan:
Catat Ulasan